Occupation: High school track coach/

gym owner

Location: westfield, nj

relationship status: Single

social media: Instagram


In the past two years, Sam Tooley lost his father to Cancer and younger brother in a house fire. He has shut himself off from his emotions and poured himself into his races, his gym and his coaching in an attempt to stay numb. If he doesn’t take the time for himself to grieve, he won’t ever properly heal.



  • Sam’s family went from a unit of 4 to 2 in just a few months with the sudden loss of his father to Cancer November 2016, then the death of youngest brother, Jake in a tragic house fire August 2017.

  • His brother was buried on Sam’s 25th birthday.

  • Since their passings, Sam has poured himself into anything other than thinking about what happened.

  • He has committed himself to being a rock for his mother, but she worries Sam hasn’t taken any time for himself to heal.

  • Every morning at 3AM he wakes up and pours himself into his coaching, opening his new gym and training himself for back-to-back Ironman races.

  • On the outside, Sam looks like he’s holding it all together. People tell him he’s the picture of health. He’s convinced himself of that too, but his mother worries if he doesn’t stop to grieve, that he’ll regret it down the line.



  • Sam hasn’t had a relationship in 8 years and admits to being somewhat of a player back in the day.

  • Sam’s biggest fear about relationships is the vulnerability that comes with it. If he opens himself up to love, he knows that means he’ll also have to open up about the tragedy and how he feels about it.

  • Sam’s friends are starting to get engaged, and he’s starting to notice. While he hasn’t put any effort into dating, he’s recently started thinking he might want to soon.

  • Sam’s mom has told him she thinks he is missing out on his 20s. She’s worried he’ll be burnt out before 30. She’s even more worried he hasn’t given himself the proper tools to heal.


  • Sam admits he has an addictive personality.

  • He checked himself into rehab for alcohol 3 years ago after getting kicked out of school and remains sober.

  • While he’s proud of his sobriety, he realizes he’s traded one addiction for another and wants to find balance and peace in his life.



  • Sam is slightly skeptical of a wellness retreat, but if there are leaders there who have also been through tough situations, he’s willing to give it a try.

  • He’s a big fish in a little pond at his gym in New Jersey, and he’s willing to step out of his comfort zone if it will benefit him in the long-run.



  • When Tigre Pickett tells Sam about his own hardship, that will be the breakthrough Sam needs to open up and tell his story. When he does, it will be explosive.