JOHN STONER - THE MAN CHILD

Age: 37

Occupation: Health Care Consultant

Location: Kansas City, MO

Relationship Status: Single

BACKGROUND:

John is a 37-year-old party boy and die-hard fan of the Kansas City Chiefs and Royals, best know for the cat suit onesie he wears to all the games. His 9-year-old daughter, Lucy, is sick of being known as “Cat Suit Man’s Daughter” and wants her dad to start acting like her parent rather than her child. She’s grown accustomed to waking John up for school and makes breakfast for both of them in the morning. Lucy starts a new school in September and wants a clean slate with her peers…she prays her dad makes a great (and mature) impression on her new classmates and teachers.

CALLING IN THE EXPERTS:

FASHION: John wears t-shirts with logos of his two favorite things; beer and sports.  Since gaining 30 pounds around his midsection, comfort is key. He wears old basketball shorts and sweatpants around the house. On the occasions he must wear jeans or dress pants, he carries a koozie in his back pocket that he stuff under his belly to ease the pain of the front button gauging his gut. Besides his two cat singlets, his crowning jewel is a jean vest that he wears without an undershirt. His only suit jacket is stuffed in the back of his closet and lined with photos of naked women.

GROOMING: John has no grooming routine. Lucy is lucky if he brushes his teeth in the morning (and usually reminds him). He sports a pretty lengthy beard (that Lucy loves), but could use some help in the “beard softening” department. He has very fair skin and never wears sunscreen.

DESIGN: John lives in a glorified frat house that he owns and rents out to two other single dads. To his neighbors, he’s known as the guy with “the giant cock” because he sports a 6-foot rooster on his front doorstep. Just like his closet, John chooses to outfit his home with lots of booze signs and sports memorabilia. He has dedicated an entire room to his collection of bobble heads. Lucy has her own room in dad’s house, but her closets are full of John’s jerseys. There are toys strewn everywhere. 

FOOD: Lucy is the head chef in the Stoner household and calls her dad her “sous chef.” She cooks most of the food for his 30-person pre-game parties, and makes breakfast for the two of them on the daily. John does know how to grill for large parties but wishes he could expand his repertoire for “dad and daughter dinners” during the week.

CULTURE: Sports culture is John’s only culture. John takes Lucy to figure skating practices, but brings their puppy as an excuse to stay out of the rink and walk the dog around the track until Lucy’s off the ice. Lucy wishes her dad would come to practice more often and take to her sport like he does the football and baseball.

FAB FIVE CONNECTION: JVN is obsessed with figure skating and would love to accompany Lucy and John out on the ice.

EVENT: Lucy and her mom are moving this summer, which means Lucy will start a new school in September. She wants a fresh start with her classmates and teachers – to be know not as “Cat Suit Man’s Daughter” but Lucy Stoner. She wants her dad to look and act like her father and not like her child when he brings her to school that day.  

ALT Event: Lucy has a big figure skating competition November 1. She wants her dad to attend the competition looking and acting the part of her new and improved father!

Nominator: Lucy Stoner (9), daughter

 

  • Lucy wants her dad to grow up. She feels like she’s the parent and he’s the kid. As she enters a new school, she wants to be proud of her dad and not embarrassed.